ooochyyyy walllyywalllyyy

We love him. and I, usually can stay even tempered with him; but tonight, no! the noise is rubbish yells, barley words, but rather fluttering hands, rudely dancing around a cold room. un-welcomed, un-wanted, deep breaths, inhale the laughter that flew around the porch only two hours ago. makes me feel awful for needing a break, I love all of my family dearly, but when my buttons get pushed, which is rare...drowning in good music away from the noise is my savor!

I need to figure out if photography is really what I want to do? I love making images and the free-flowing beauty, but then I love helping people, I always have. as cliche as it is, I really want to make a difference in this world, and believe I can. I always said, I have to save the children. There are so many people that need voices, and I know I have a strong enough voice to speak up, but in what way? I can make images that speak of injustice and educate, but then I can talk to people and help them psychologically, or be a social worker and make sure kids are safe and in good care. I would love to be a foster mom; but having to let a child go when they are put into a new home would be hard for me, I am not good with goodbyes. Just thinking about all the kids i've worked with who I had to part with, I tear up a little. And even though I know you cannot help everyone you try, its hard when you know you've let someone down as well. Jessica Robinson, was a beautiful young lady who was put in and out of the system and her needs were not being met and all I could do back then was listen to her and give her the little advice I could. A high school kid has even less of a chance then working the system then a college student. I hope Jessica is doing good though, and hopefully she is heading off to college.

so many people come in and out of our lives and for reasons, not always known. sometimes its wonderful and sometimes it not. But I feel there is always a reason and something to be learned. anyways this post is long. dancing is in order for my sanity suburban legends is an awesome band!

peace, love, happiness and hugs!